


Ache

by MelancholyBrilliance



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alpha Rey (Star Wars), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Foster Family, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Belligerent Sexual Tension, Ben Solo is Not Nice, Bigotry & Prejudice, But He Gets Better, Denial of Feelings, Discrimination, Drinking, Enemies to Lovers, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Happy Ending, Nesting, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Older Man/Younger Woman, Omega Ben Solo, Self-Hatred, childhood... enemies?? one-sided anyway
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:41:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25620742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelancholyBrilliance/pseuds/MelancholyBrilliance
Summary: “I guess now we know why you wouldn’t leave me alone when we were kids,” Ben hisses, disgust curling his lips.All the air squeezes out of her lungs. “No, I never—“ She shakes her head and swallows, brow furrowed. “That’s not fair.”A parody of a laugh erupts from his mouth, cruel and biting. “You want to talk to me aboutfair?I’m a male Omega.” His eyes trail down the front of her with pure disdain. “But you always knew that, didn’t you?”Before she can get another word out, he spins on his heel and strides out of the room.Rey is left reeling, heart pounding thunderously in her chest, Ben’s scent still lingering in the air.-A chance happening reconnects Alpha Rey Johnson with her former foster family, the Organa-Solos, who gave her the only real home she ever knew. Unfortunately, this also brings her back to their son Ben, a bitter Omega with whom Rey shares a complicated past.(A/B/O Enemies to Lovers AU; Alpha Rey/Omega Ben)
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 25
Kudos: 166





	1. Linger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted to give alpha rey a go!! idk how long this will really end up being, but hopefully short. we’re going to work back to ben and rey’s past and all will be revealed in due time. let me know what you think!!

Rey presents when she’s ten years old.

It’s a shock. She’s a skinny little foster kid who grew up without any real support or nurture, and she winds up an Alpha.

Even more of a shock: a _female_ Alpha.

As if her life needed to get any harder.

Once she presents, her foster family at the time suddenly decides that they are no longer “equipped” to care for her. Really they’re just prejudiced dickheads, but Rey doesn’t realize that until years later.

In a weird way she feels grateful to their ignorance. When they booted her out of their house, Rey was relocated to the best foster home she would ever have. She barely spends a year there, but it’s the only time of her childhood that she can feel some level of fondness toward.

For Rey, the Organa-Solo household had been a short-lived dream.  


* * *

  
She can’t stop staring at the email in front of her.

The word _Congratulations!_ stares back at her. _On behalf of Chandrila University, I am pleased to announce your admission for…_

After four years of working and studying and retaking the SAT, Rey has been accepted to the prestigious Chandrila University. All the late nights and overtime had been worth it. She did it.

“Oh my god,” she mutters, sitting back in her desk chair. 

Something like joy pushes against her chest. The orphaned foster kid isn’t supposed to make it this far; she had beat the odds.

With a shaking hand she scrolls down on the email, eyes raking over every word. A smile starts to pull at her lips and she presses her hand over her mouth, because it’s real. She _did_ it.

She kicks her feet beneath her desk, squealing. She’s going to _college._

There’s so much to do. Meeting with her advisor, registering for classes—

Rey comes to an abrupt pause. 

Her eyes scan over a scribbled signature at the end of the email, heart pounding. Beneath that, in clearly legible print, she finds a familiar name that she hasn’t heard in over a decade. 

Rey stares blankly at it, convinced that she’s not seeing right. Maybe this _is_ a dream.

_Once again, I extend my congratulations on your admission to Chandrila and welcome you to the Chandrila family._

_Sincerely,_

_Leia Organa, PhD  
Associate Dean  
Director of Admissions_  


* * *

  
To her surprise, Leia responds promptly.

It’s not something Rey thinks about; once she had seen Leia’s name, she was typing up an email to send her before she really even knew what she was doing. 

Leia seems excited in her response, though it’s hard to really gauge that sort of thing over writing. Still, she must be happy to hear from her on some level, because she immediately invites Rey to her office the next day to meet.

It’s only a twenty minute walk from her shitty apartment building to campus. Rey sweats the whole way there, but she thinks that has more to do with her nerves than the August sun.

She can’t stop thinking, _What are the chances?_ If fate or destiny were things Rey believed in she might be considering them now. As it stands, she can only chalk this up to a really, really fucking weird coincidence.

By the time she reaches Leia’s office, her shirt is sticking uncomfortably to her back. Rey stands in front of the door and tries to wipe away the sweat that’s collected on her forehead, determined not to face her former foster mom for the first time in ten years looking like a drowned rat.

She pushes some damp tendrils of hair behind her ears and straightens out her blouse, wincing as she pulls it away from the wet plane of her back. Gross.

Whatever. This is the best she can do. She takes a deep breath and knocks on the door.

“Come in!”

Nervous, Rey pushes the door open and peeks inside. Leia sits behind a mahogany desk inside, and as soon as she looks up from her computer at Rey, a wide smile breaks across her face.

“Rey!” She stands to her feet and quickly beckons her forward. “Please, dear, come in!”

Rey steps inside, bashful. A smile has appeared on her own lips; Leia is every bit the tiny, charismatic woman she remembers from her childhood, just with more streaks of gray in her brown hair now.

“Hello,” Rey greets, waving awkwardly.

“I can’t believe it’s really you!”

Leia moves toward her before she can prepare herself, and suddenly Rey is wrapped up in a bone-crushing hug. She tenses at first before letting herself slowly relax and wrapping her arms around the small woman in return. It’s an odd feeling — the last time she’d hugged Leia Organa, she hadn’t even reached her shoulders.

Rey allows herself to enjoy it. She hasn’t been on the receiving end of touch often in her life, and Leia is warm and smells nice. Clean and unoffending under her perfume, like Betas always are.

Leia pulls away with a megawatt grin, holding her by the arms as her dark eyes scan over her. “Goodness, look at you! So tall and pretty!”

She blushes fiercely, ducking her head with a shy smile. “Thank you… It’s really good to see you.”

“Oh, you too, dear. I’ve thought about you often over the years. To think that we’d end up together again here, of all places.” Her smile widens and she winks. “Congratulations, by the way.”

Rey grins back. “Thank you. It still feels like a dream, to be honest.”

“It’s something to be very proud of. I’m so glad to see you’re doing well, dear. After you left, I always worried…” Rey’s heart drops at the thought of where that sentence might be headed, but Leia seems to catch herself, shaking her head. “Well, doesn’t matter now. Clearly you’ve done just fine for yourself. You always were a tough little thing, weren’t you?”

She huffs out a laugh. “I tried to be.”

Leia sighs happily and squeezes her arms. “We just must catch up… Would you be open to having dinner sometime?”

An excited tremor shoots through Rey’s body. Leia wants to see her again, and Rey is physically incapable of resisting the allure of someone wanting her around. Especially when that someone is the only real maternal figure she’s ever had.

“Absolutely,” she agrees, nodding fast. “I’d love to.”

“How about this Sunday? We have family dinner that night, and Han would just be delighted to see you.”

Rey bounces a little on her heels at the mention of Han, grinning stupidly. “Yeah, Sunday works great.”

“Perfect. Let’s plan for six o’clock, then. I’ll email you my address.”

“Sounds good,” Rey breathes, still nodding and smiling. “I’ll be there.”

“Wonderful… And Rey?” Leia’s smile looks a little strained now. “Ben will be there as well... I just don’t want there to be any surprises, you know?”

Rey freezes. Ben. She’d sort of forgotten he’d even existed, and with good reason.

“Oh, okay.” She clears her throat, shifting uncomfortably on her feet. “Sure.”

There could be several different reasons why Leia decided to share that information with her, and none of them are reasons Rey particularly wants to consider. She knows Leia doesn’t think poorly of her for being a female Alpha; she took her in as a kid despite that. But she’s a Beta, and Betas just don’t get it. They have all these assumptions about Alphas and Omegas — the most annoying being that they’re all animals that can’t control themselves around each other without heaps of suppressants and blockers.

But that doesn’t automatically mean Betas intend harm. Most of them, anyway; Leia certainly doesn’t. She probably thinks she’s doing Rey a favor.

Rey smiles back at her, just as strained. “Looking forward to seeing him again,” she lies. “It’s been too long.”  


* * *

  
It’s a thirty minute drive out of the city to Leia’s house. They still live in the same suburb and as Rey gets closer, the area begins to familiarize in her mind again. She passes the same park she always used to play in and a wave of nostalgia rolls over her, bringing a smile to her lips.

She parks her piece of shit car on the curb outside of their house. It looks largely the same, with a wraparound front porch and thick white columns under the overhang. Big oak trees line the street, covering everything in cool shade.

Heart thundering, Rey walks up the front steps to the front door. Her hands are clammy around a pan of brownies she made from a box. She’s not a baker by any means, but it didn’t feel right to show up empty-handed.

She takes a deep breath a rings the doorbell. There’s voices on the other side and the sounds of footstep, then the door swings open.

Rey blinks in surprise, heart expanding. Han Solo stand across the threshold, grayer and with more wrinkles than she remembers, but wearing the same old unrepentant smile.

“Rey!” he booms, opening his arms wide.

She laughs, shaky all over. “Hi, Han.”

He wraps her into a hug that’s slightly awkward with the pan of brownies between them but still good. Han smells exactly like he always did — a mix of leather and motor oil over that clean Beta scent.

“Good to see you again, kid,” he says when he pulls away, still smiling. “Come on in—Leia’s making a roast tonight. You always liked those, didn’t you?”

Rey laughs again, nodding and following him into the foyer. “I liked just about everything. Still do.”

“A girl after my own heart,” Han chuckles. He lifts an eyebrow and narrows his eyes. “Though you’re not really a girl anymore, are you? How old are you now—twenty?”

“Twenty-one,” Rey corrects, shrugging.

“Ah, that’s right. Eight years younger than Ben.”

They both tense at the mention of Ben, and Rey’s eyes skitter away to the white-trimmed walls behind Han. It’s stupid to feel uncomfortable about things that happened years ago, but it doesn’t seem like either of them can help it.

He clears his throat and tries for a smile, hitching a thumb over his shoulder. “He’s in the living room. We can go say hi now, if you'd like... He’ll be happy to see you.”

Rey huffs out a laugh because she’s sure he _won’t,_ but—she’s an adult now. Things are different. She can handle this.

“Sure.”

“He’s a bit more reasonable now that he’s older, believe it or not.” Han snorts, motioning for her to follow him down the hall. “Well. Most of the time, anyway.”

He leads her to the familiar living room and her heart pounds almost painfully. Around the corner, Ben sits in the same burgundy armchair by the fireplace that she remembers from childhood. His back is to them and she sees his shoulders tense when they enter the room. On the armrest he cradles a glass of red wine in his hand, fingers tight around the circumference.

“Ben,” Han calls, placing a hand on Rey’s shoulder. “Look who it is.”

Slowly, Ben stands from the armchair. Rey has to suppress a gasp — he’d always been a big person even as a teenager, but now... now he’s just _massive._ Well over six feet tall, with broad shoulders and thick arms that strain against the fabric of his navy dress shirt. He turns around and she sees his familiar long face and dark eyes, wholly impassive as they meet hers.

His lips work for a moment. Rey feels fit to snap from how tightly she holds herself under his flat gaze.

“Hello,” he finally says, curt.

She lets out a short breath. She’s so nervous. Why is she so nervous? Be normal.

“Hey, Ben. It’s good to see you again.”

Ben doesn’t say anything in response to that, which is awkward, and Han rushes to fill the silence.

“You sure did sprout up, kid,” he says, grinning and squeezing her shoulder. “Hard to believe she used to be such a tiny little thing, huh, Ben?”

Ben takes a languid sip of his wine. One big shoulder rises and falls. “I hardly even remember how small she was.”

Ouch. Rey tries not to wince at his blatant jab or Han’s resulting look of exasperation.

She clears her throat and attempts a smile that feels wobbly on her mouth. “It was a long time ago.”

Ben’s eyes slide back to her — dark, unimpressed. Beside her, Han lets out a quiet sigh.

“Can I get you something to drink, Rey?” he asks, turning toward her. “We’ve got wine, beer...” He raises and eyebrow and smiles slyly. “Whiskey.”

She laughs a little, shaking her head. “Wine sounds good. Red, if you have it.”

“Coming right up.”

Han turns to head back toward the kitchen, leaving them alone together. Rey shifts her eyes back to Ben who has his eyes fixed somewhere behind her, jaw tight. It’s so awkward in the room it physically hurts.

She sees his Adam’s apple bob and opens her mouth to say... something, but he moves toward her before she can. 

It takes a second to realize that he’s trying to leave the room — the only exit is behind her. Rey ducks her head down, grimacing, wondering why his dismissal of her stings so much. They were never truly close — Ben wouldn't allow it, though she tried. He never liked her, and it makes sense that that would hurt her feelings when she was a kid, but now it shouldn’t be—

Her thoughts come to a screeching halt as Ben passes by. Beneath his cologne and the subtle twang of his suppressants, she can smell—it’s something—

“Ben,” she gasps, whipping around to face him before she can stop herself, all instinct.

He’s already staring back at her, mouth agape, eyes wide with some terrible mix of realization and horror. She sucks in air over her tongue and it’s so—

 _Good._ He smells _so good._ Omegas always smell good to her, naturally, but she’s only ever met female Omegas before and they had never smelled like this.

Ben smells comforting. Wonderful. Too good to be true. Rey’s eyelid twitches, her fingertips itching with the ridiculous urge to reach out and grab him before he can escape.

 _"Don’t,”_ he snaps, holding out a hand between them, and Rey realizes with no small amount embarrassment that she had taken an unconscious step toward him.

She blinks rapidly and stumbles back, head spinning. “Sorry. I’m sor—“

“I guess now we know why you wouldn’t leave me alone when we were kids,” Ben hisses, disgust curling his lips.

All the air squeezes out of her lungs. “What? No, I never—“ She shakes her head and swallows, brow furrowed. “That’s not fair.”

A parody of a laugh erupts from his mouth, cruel and biting. “You want to talk to me about _fair?_ I’m a male Omega.” His eyes trail down the front of her with pure disdain. “But you always knew that, didn’t you?”

Before she can get another word out, he spins on his heel and strides out of the room. 

Rey is left reeling, heart pounding thunderously in her chest, Ben’s scent still lingering in the air.


	2. Pull

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was not supposed to be this long but it got away from me. i just really love writing this story. i'm trying not to info dump too much but hopefully this gives some insight into how this universe works in regard to designations.
> 
> i swear i'll update winter flower next lmao

Dinner is tense.

Leia and Han try to make it less awkward for Rey’s sake, but there is little social niceties can do to counteract the increasingly snide remarks Ben keeps throwing her way over the course of the meal. 

It doesn’t help that he’s made his way through three and a half glasses of red wine, brown eyes gone glassy and hooded. Rey does her best to avoid their resentful glare but feels it like a brand on her skin all the same. Like he wants to hurt her with it.

She thinks she preferred it back when he just ignored her.

“Will you still be working once you start school?” Leia asks her kindly, about midway through dinner.

Rey nods, swallowing down a mouthful of carrot. “Yes, I think so. I qualify for some federal aid, but there’s still expenses that won’t cover.”

Leia frowns, leaning forward a bit over the table. “Are you set on that? Chandrila’s courses are notoriously difficult, especially as an incoming freshman with nothing to compare it to.”

She blushes, feeling younger than her age. In many ways, she is — she’s twenty-one and has never been to college, never been to a party, never even been kissed. She has vague ideas about how all these things work, but has no way of actually knowing, no _experience._

And then in other ways, she feels decades older than her age. She had no parents, no safety net. On top of that, she’s had to deal with the everyday prejudices that come with being a female Alpha. She’s endured more hardship than most of her peers ever will.

She tilts her chin up with this thought, nodding firmly. “I’m pretty set on it, I think. Between working and studying for the SAT this last year I’ve got a lot of practice with time management, so I feel like I’ll be able to handle it.” She shrugs, hyperaware of Ben’s eyes on her profile as she stabs a potato with her fork. “Plus I plan on cutting back a bit—I’ll teach a few less classes at the gym once the semester starts.”

Han raises his eyebrows at the end of the table. “You teach classes at a gym?”

Rey shrugs, grinning sheepishly. “Some boxing and martial arts. On the weekends I teach a self-defense class.”

Han whistles. “So we have a little fighter on our hands. I’m impressed.”

She laughs, self-conscious but pleased. “Well, I don’t know about that—”

 _“You_ fight?” Ben cuts in. Her hearts swoops as she looks over at him, at the plain contempt written on his face. He snorts. “That’s hard to believe.”

Irritation bursts up in Rey; she’s had enough of him. Before she can stop herself, she grits out, “And what is that supposed to mean?”

“It means what I said,” he answers, condescending. “I find it hard to believe, seeing as you’re built so scrawny. Especially for an Alpha.”

“Benjamin!” Leia scolds.

Rey clenches her teeth, biting back the smart retort at the tip of her tongue. The nerve of him; does he not see the irony of his own statement? Omegas are stereotypically delicate and small, and he’s built like a fucking tree. Not that Rey is rude enough to point that out.

“I manage just fine, actually,” she says instead, glaring at him.

“Ben,” Han butts in, long-suffering. “Would you stop it?”

“Stop what? I’m just making conversation.”

“You’re an adult now. Don’t you think it’s time to grow out of this?”

Ben stares at his father, jaw clenched, working his mouth. Abruptly, he takes up his wine glass and downs the contents in one go. Then he stands with an overloud screech of his chair against the floor and stalks out of the kitchen, empty glass still in hand.

Han sighs, offering Rey an apologetic look. “Sorry about him, kid.”

“He said it was fine,” says Leia, bewildered, “when I told him you were coming earlier this week. I don’t understand what changed.”

Rey thinks back to both of their reactions in the living room when she had first caught Ben’s scent and bites down on her lip. She thinks she knows exactly what changed, but it’s not as if she can tell them that.

Instead she shrugs, listlessly poking at the sliver of roast on her plate. “It’s fine,” she says.

It’s not, but Rey would never admit that out loud.

* * *

Once Ben is removed from the equation, the rest of the night goes off without a hitch. Rey isn’t sure where he’d run off to, but she doesn’t much care; Leia heats up her brownies in the oven and adds scoops of vanilla ice cream over top of them for dessert, and Ben is all but forgotten.

It’s nice to be with Han and Leia again. Sharing the evening with them makes her feel ten years old again, warm and cherished in a place that almost seems like home.

And then — just like the first time she had been with them, all those years ago — Ben ruins it.

Han is midway through a story that has Leia shaking her head in feigned disapproval and Rey splitting at her sides with laughter when they hear heavy footfalls coming down the steps. Initially, Rey pays it no mind — but then comes the sound of a crash, and all three of them are jumping in their seats.

“What the hell,” Han grumbles, standing from his chair.

“Ben!” Leia calls, hurrying out of the kitchen after her husband.

Rey sits helplessly, straining to hear.

“...gotten into you?”

“...my best china, Ben!”

She stands, creeping toward the mouth of the kitchen and peering around the corner until she sees the three of them at the bottom of the stairs. Ben must’ve bumped into the display of china Leia keeps against the wall; blue and white shards of porcelain lay shattered at his feet.

“I’m leaving,” he mutters, stepping over the broken pieces.

Han reaches out and grabs his arm. “Oh, no you’re not. You’re drunk. You’re not driving.”

“I only had wine—“ Ben protests, lips curling back.

“You’re so drunk you knocked over your mother’s plates. Which you still haven’t apologized for, by the way—“

“I have a meeting tomorrow morning,” Ben growls, jerking his arm out of his father’s grasp and nearly falling backward as a result. Rey’s stomach drops. “Early. I need to be home tonight.”

“You can drive back in the morning, Ben,” says Leia.

“I’m not staying here—“

“Ben, please—“

“I can drive him.”

Rey hardly realizes she’s spoken until all three pairs of eyes are looking at her, wide and surprised.

Leia shifts uneasily. “Oh, Rey, that’s kind of you, but we couldn’t ask you to do that. Ben can stay here for the night, it’s fine.”

“I’m _not,”_ Ben insists.

“It’s not a big deal,” says Rey, wondering why on earth she’s offering to put herself through this.

“No,” Ben declares, shaking his head and fumbling around for his phone in his pocket. “I’ll take an Uber. I’m not going with her.”

“You can’t take an Uber like this,” Leia rebuffs. “It’s not safe, someone could take advantage—”

Ben groans, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. “I’m not a fucking flower,” he growls.

“Language,” Leia chastises.

Han sighs. "I'll just take him back.”

“Han, it’s a thirty-minute drive back to Chandrila and you have work in the morning. It’s too late to be making an hour trip—”

“He lives near Chandrila?” Rey interrupts. “I live right next to campus, too. It really would be no trouble to take him back.”

There’s no explanation for why she’s doing this. She feels just as flummoxed as the Organa-Solos look right now, staring at her like she’s just grown a second head.

Maybe it’s the miserable look on Ben’s face; maybe old habits just die hard. There’s a long-held, confounding part of her, however deeply buried it might now be, that is _still_ desperate for his approval. Desperate to make him like her. She doesn’t understand _why._ It’s infuriating, and yet hopelessly unavoidable.

“Fine,” Ben suddenly announces, voice hard. “Whatever. Let’s just go.”

Leia frowns. “Ben, are you sure—”

“We’re leaving now,” he snaps, stalking past all three of them toward the front door.

Rey shuts her eyes for a moment as he passes, feeling his pull like a magnet. When she opens them, Leia and Han are staring at her wordlessly, both gaping a bit.

She offers them a wobbly smile. “Um, thank you for having me. Dinner was just… so great.”

* * *

Maybe this was a bad idea, Rey thinks as she follows her phone’s GPS, into which Ben had clumsily typed his address.

Her car is saturated with his scent, filling the small, warm space up and blending with her own. She keeps having to swallow down the spit that fills her mouth every time she breathes in, squirming restlessly in her seat.

On top of that, Ben is _still_ being an insufferable prick. For the umpteenth time since he got into her car, she wonders why the hell she agreed to this.

“Your car’s a piece of shit.”

“Thanks, I hadn’t noticed.”

“Can’t believe I agreed to be seen in this.”

She rolls her lips, tightening her hands on the steering wheel. Deep, calm breaths. Can’t get angry, even though she’d really like to bare her teeth at him and growl until he showed some respect.

“Has anyone ever told you what a joy to be around you are?” she says instead.

“No,” Ben answers, unexpectedly quieter. He stares out the window long enough that Rey glances over at him in question. His eyes are flat and hooded, the line of his mouth tight and straight. “If the male Omega thing doesn’t keep people away, the bad attitude does. Not many people tend to stick around.”

Rey blinks before hastily turning her eyes back toward the road. Something achy and uncomfortable worms its way into her sternum, headed straight for her heart. 

He just sounds so… _sad._ That’s the second time tonight he’s bitterly brought up being a male Omega; it must bother him more than she had even realized.

She can’t necessarily blame him. Over the years, Rey has tried to love herself and embrace the things she can’t change — and she certainly can’t change being a female Alpha — but she also can’t pretend life wouldn’t be easier if she had been born an Omega — or better yet, a Beta. 

Most days she can ignore these sorts of self-pitying thoughts, but all it takes is a disgusted look from some uppity woman on the bus, or the snickers of Alpha men as she walks by for them to rise at the forefront of her mind. She knows that it’s society, not her, that’s fucked up. That still doesn’t make it any easier.

“Fuck those people,” Rey says suddenly, absurdly upset on Ben’s behalf. On both of their behalf, really. She sees his head jerk in her direction from her peripheral. “They’re ignorant, and you shouldn’t concern yourself with ignorant people who hate something they don’t understand. _They’re_ the problem, not us.”

Ben scoffs, shaking his head. “Easy for you to say.”

She frowns. “Excuse me?”

“You’re an Alpha, Rey. Yes, you’re a female, but you’re still an Alpha. And you clearly don’t understand the privilege that holds.”

“No, I don’t,” Rey retorts hotly, blood rushing beneath her skin. She’s truly angry now; how dare he belittle her struggles? “Please remind me of what a _privilege_ it is to be spat at and called horrible names for something I can’t control.”

Ben rolls his eyes, head lolling against the window. “That’s not what I meant. Yes, people are ignorant, but like you said, things are changing that way. On the other hand, you’ve always been free to do almost anything you want because you’re an _Alpha._ Are you really going to pretend that it’s the same for me?”

She furrows her brow, glancing over at him. “Well of course not, I understand that Omegas have less… privileges I guess, but it’s always been like that. For female Omegas too, not just you—”

“And that makes it okay?” he cuts in, caustic. 

Rey stops, blinking. “I—I mean—no, it’s doesn’t, it just…” A hot, shameful blush begins to bloom onto her cheeks as she struggles to find the words for what she means, realizing too late that she’s backed herself into a corner. “That’s just the way it’s always been,” she finally mutters, shrugging her shoulders helplessly.

“Right,” Ben says, resting his temple back onto the window and shutting his eyes. “Thank you for the enlightenment.”

Her embarrassment stays with her long after the conversation ends, until they’re almost to his place. Just down the block, however, Ben makes a pitiful noise that sounds suspiciously close to a whimper.

She looks over at him. “Ben? …Are you okay?”

“Last glass’a wine just hit me,” he mumbles, head turned so his forehead is entirely pressed along the glass window. “Think m’gonna puke.”

“Shit,” says Rey, and pulls over. 

Ben scrambles out of her car as soon as it comes to a stop, and she can do nothing but watch for a few seconds as he bends at the waist, one hand bracing himself against the car, and retches. She snaps out of it after a moment, hurrying out of the car and rushing over to him.

“Are you okay?” she breathes again, eyes wide.

Ben wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and leans back against the car, eyes shut. “No,” he moans.

Rey licks her lips, lost. “Well, are you at least… done?”

He hesitates. “…Yes.”

She shifts her weight, unsure of what to say. “I’m surprised,” she settles on. “You’re such a big guy. I wouldn’t have expected wine to get to you like this…”

“It’s my suppressants,” he grunts. “They aren’t supposed to be mixed with alcohol.” He opens his eyes suddenly and lets a caricature of a smile stretch across his face, revealing two familiar sets of crooked teeth. His arms outstretch on either side of him, as if presenting a wonderful trick. “Yet another joy of being a male Omega.”

Rey swallows hard, her heart doing something funny in her chest. 

Under different circumstances, she could see that smile being devastating. Even drunk and cynical, there’s a hint of boyish charm to it that makes her stomach swoop. She wishes, fleetingly, that she could see his real smile.

“Let’s get you back in the car,” she mumbles, averting her eyes and opening the passenger door for him. “Were not far from your place now.”

Ben rolls his eyes. “I know that. M’drunk, not stupid.” Despite his grumbling, he falls back into the passenger seat. “God, Alphas always think they know everything. I have a doctorate, did y’know that? _You_ haven’t even been to college yet—”

She shuts the door on him, shaking her head. Seems like he’s back to being an insulting little shit again. Too bad the suppressant-wine combo couldn’t dull that.

It’s a short drive to his apartment complex. Less than five minutes later, Rey parks in the lot Ben directs her toward. There’s a cluster of apartment buildings in front of them, and Rey feels like in his state, she should at least make sure he gets to the right one. She slides out of the car to walk with him, awaiting the snide remark he’s bound to give her in response.

It never comes.

Rey tamps down her surprise and follows Ben down the narrow sidewalk between a quartet of complexes until he turns to stop in front of the entrance to one. She squints in the low streetlight at the plaque that hangs above the door, naming it “BUILDING D.”

“This is you?” she asks, just to make sure. “Building D?”

“Yes, _obviously,”_ Ben snaps, fishing keys from his pocket.

Rey rolls her eyes and turns to leave. She’s endured enough of his condescending bullshit, and now that he’s home safely she doesn’t have to put up with it. Time to go.

“What, you’re not even going to make sure I get inside safe?” Ben suddenly scoffs from behind her. “Some Alpha you are.”

Rey stops, gritting her teeth. She doesn’t know what he _wants,_ if he’s saying this just to get a rise out of her, if he actually wants to be walked into his apartment (unlikely), or if he’s just drunk and saying whatever comes to mind.

She should just walk away. Go home, take a shower, get his scent off of her so she can _think_ straight again—

“Fine,” Ben bites out, and it’s so petulant and forlorn that Rey turns to face him again by instinct, blinking in surprise. 

He’s got his broad back facing her now, struggling to pick the electronic key fob out from his key ring. She watches for a second or two, begrudgingly amused at the way his thick fingers tumble clumsily over the keys. Her eyes flick up to his face to find his brow drawn, full lips downturned and jutting out.

He’s _pouting,_ Rey realizes, some strange twinge of disbelief and satisfaction ringing through her; he’s actually upset that she’s letting him go inside alone.

“You’re impossible,” she mutters, pushing away the odd thrill she feels at his neediness, which is not helpful or rational.

She steps up beside him and holds her hand out. “Here, let me do it.”

“I know how get into my own building, thanks.”

“You’re too drunk. This is taking forever, just give me the keys so I can get you upstairs.”

Ben huffs, tossing the keys into her outstretched palm and promptly looking away. Rey pauses, staring at the pink on top of his cheekbone and wondering how she missed that before. Must be one of those people who get flushed when they drink.

She easily picks out his key fob and holds it up to the reader beside the door. There’s a tell-tale click, and she opens the unlocked door, holding it ajar for Ben to step through.

He doesn’t look at her when he does, scowling. She sighs. She probably should’ve just walked away when she had the chance, even if it had made discomfort prickle down her back. Too late now.

Rey dutifully follows after him up a flight of steps. They stop in front of what she assumes is the front door to his apartment, frowning when something dawns on her.

“How are you able to live alone?” she blurts.

She cringes as soon as the words leave her mouth, mentally face-palming. How many times is she going to put her foot into her mouth tonight?

Ben freezes with his keys in his hands, black hair falling into his eyes.

“Sorry,” she says hurriedly. “Sorry, you don’t have to answer that—”

“You mean without an Alpha?” he interrupts curtly.

Rey winces. “Y-yeah.”

He resumes sifting through his keys, just as gracelessly as the first time. “There are exceptions to the law. I’m doing grant research at Chandrila—as long as I’m doing my work, I can live here alone.”

He says it so bitterly that it makes Rey wince again. She stands there, feeling stupid, and watching as he grows increasingly more agitated with his keys. She’s just about to offer her help again when he drops them on the floor.

“Fuck,” he growls, swaying as he bends to retrieve them.

“Just—I’ll do it,” says Rey, bending down and swiping the keys off the floor before he can fall over and hurt himself. 

Once she stands, she realizes how much closer she and Ben are than before; she blinks at the wall of his broad chest, suddenly right there, and takes an open-mouthed breath before she can stop herself.

The effect is instantaneous — she grips the keys in her palm so hard it hurts, saliva rushing to fill her mouth. Arousal swoops through her stomach, tightening her lower muscles in anticipation.

He smells so much better than female Omegas. _So_ much better. Rey hadn’t known anyone could smell like this: like sandalwood and citrus and something subtly _sweet,_ almost like baby powder—

Ben groans, stirring her to lift her eyes to his face. In the dimly lit hallway, his eyes look near-black and glazed over. His hands are tightened into fists at his sides.

“Sorry,” Rey rasps, making to step back even though it’s the last thing her instincts want her to do. “Sorry, I didn’t mean—”

Without warning, Ben folds his big body forward and drops his head right into the crook of her neck. Rey gasps at the over-warm contact of his skin. He tilts his head just slightly, nose brushing along the lateral edge of her scent gland. His hands come up to grip her upper arms, nearly trembling.

“I hate you,” he moans, pressing even closer. 

Rey’s heart drops in her chest; she had known how he felt about her, of course, but hearing it out loud is still inexplicably painful, like a serrated knife through the gut.

“Ben,” she croaks, trying to make her voice sound even and not stupidly hurt. “Ben, get off—” 

“I hate you for smelling so good,” he continues in a tortured voice, the words muffled against her shoulder.

Rey freezes, all of her nerve endings standing at high alert. She can practically feel the rush of Alpha hormones that pump into her blood in response to his words, liquefying her brain and urging her to put her teeth to his neck.

“What did you say?” she asks, low and urgent. She doesn’t entirely recognize her own voice.

Ben shivers over her. His fingers dig into her arms and he shakes his head, soft hair brushing her cheek.

It’s odd; everything around her goes fuzzy while Ben becomes sharper. Her hands come up to grip the back of his elbows, an innocent touch that feels anything but. Every sensation between their skin is magnified tenfold under the influence of the hormones thrumming through her veins.

She whispers, “What do I smell like, Ben?”

He makes a desperate noise that he tries to smother into her neck.

“Tell me,” she urges, needing to hear it for reasons she can’t begin to articulate. She feels restless, feverish at his scent and the heat of his skin so near. 

She wants to sink her teeth into him, everywhere.

One of his big hands comes up to hold the side of her jaw, fingers curving behind her head. He turns his face until his nose presses up against her scent gland, and Rey immediately slackens in his arms like a ragdoll. Pure, unadulterated comfort pulses through her, smothering her like a blanket.

_“Ah…”_

“Like flowers,” Ben mumbles, lips brushing her skin. “I dunno. Just—good.”

She sighs, overtly pleased. “Yeah?”

“Mm,” he hums, taking another deep breath in. His fingers tighten, threading through her hair. “Not just the wine talking either,” he adds drowsily. "Even before, you smelled...

Rey’s eyes snap open. The word _wine_ hits her like a bucket of cold water, dragging reality back to her in sharp relief.

This is wrong. He’s _drunk._ That’s the only reason this is happening — the only reason he’s _letting_ this happen. What’s her excuse?

“Ben,” she says, panicked, pulling him away at the elbows. “Ben, come on, get off.”

He very nearly whines but allows her to push him back, giving her full view of his plainly hurt expression. Rey ignores the immediate urge to soothe.

“Did—” He stops, Adam’s apple bobbing. “Did I do something wrong?” 

“You’re drunk,” she says, high-pitched, hurriedly turning around to unlock his door. The first key doesn’t fit; she moves to the next with sweaty palms. “You’ll be angry in the morning when you remember this.”

Ben is quiet behind her when she finally gets the door unlocked, her body shaking slightly. What she said is true; Ben would never have done that sober. He’d first saw his own arm off, and if he wakes up tomorrow and remembers the way she’d _encouraged_ him, he’ll saw her arm off as well.

“You need to go to bed,” she manages, pushing the door open and waving him inside. “And you need some water. You shouldn’t have drank with your suppressants, it’s making you act… not yourself.”

Ben grumbles but reluctantly ambles into his apartment, ignoring the light switches as he goes. Rey turns them on behind him, nervously watching him sway down the short hallway. 

It’s a nice place: light gray walls, a tile backsplash in the kitchen. Much nicer than her apartment, naturally, and from what she knows about the complexes that house only unmated Omegas, nicer than those too.

“Go change,” she orders, ignoring the scowl she gets in return. He wanders over to a door at the opposite side of the apartment and goes inside, not bothering to close it all the way behind him. 

This leaves a gap through which Rey can see a bed inside, covered in a thick, white duvet with a fluffy throw blanket at the end. There’s carpet on the floor, but he has a shag rug over top of it.

Looks really nice. Inviting.

She rips her eyes away, swallowing past her dry throat. Wrong. This is wrong. Omega’s nests are private, and she shouldn’t be leering at it, heartbeat picking up at how plush it looks. Ben would most definitely be disgusted. And very, very angry.

She snoops around the kitchen until she finds a glass to pour some water in from the tap. Advil seems to be a lost cause; she can’t find it anywhere in the cupboards. Rey stands in the middle of the room, uncertain as to what to do. She doesn’t feel comfortable going into his room, but she’s uneasy leaving him without making sure he’s in safely in the bed, on his side. Who knows if he’ll puke again.

“Ben?” she calls hesitantly. “Are you in bed?”

No answer.

She bites her lips, shifting uneasily on her feet. “Can you at least come drink some water?”

She hardly hears his response, muffled through the door. “No. Tired.”

Fuck. This is ridiculous.

Rey sets the water onto the kitchen table and creeps forward, stopping in front of his bedroom door. 

Just a peek, to make sure he’s on his side. That’s all. She won’t even look at the rest of the room.

Holding her breath, she cranes her neck to peer around the slightly open door.

Ben lays in a near-ball on his side, wrapped tightly in the duvet. Countless pillows surround his dark head like a halo, and he clutches a knitted, pastel blue blanket at his chest. 

A short gasp enters Rey’s lungs. 

He looks… soft. Touchable. 

What’s the harm in going inside? Just a little closer, to put the water on his nightstand?

Rey jerks back from the door, eyes wide.

Holy shit. She’s never experienced Alpha instincts like this. Pushing her to take what she wants, blurring moral lines. Telling her its her right to do so. 

She doesn’t like it at all. It’s frightening — makes her feel like an animal.

Hastily, Rey turns away from the door. She flies past the water glass and keys she left on the kitchen table and out the front door, locking the bottom lock from the inside before shutting it behind her.

There. He’s home safe. Mission accomplished. Now she’ll never have to experience Ben Solo and his stupid scent again.


End file.
